New Year's Resolution

In the year 2007 I resolve to: Fill my house with chocolate pudding. Get your resolution here.

In the interest of fairness. . . .

Alas, it seems that Jason Sizemore over at Apex doesn't think we're quite as friendly as I did. Jason, I have nothing but the depeest respect and admiration for you and your work, and I hope that someday, you'll be able to see past our editorial differences.

He posted one of my rejection letters to him. It's only fair, I think, that I post his submission - I just want everyone to be able to make up their own minds.

Here's his cover letter:

Dear Mr. Debbie Wodnizky,

Here is my story "Intestines On The Moon!" It is way better than the crap you usually print! My mom really likes it so if you don't like it you are STUPID and I will tell everyone on the interwebs that you are MEEN.

Sincerely,
Jason Sizmore

P.S. APEX ROCKS!!!!! BUY A MUG!!!!!

And here's the story that accompanied this fine letter:

INTESTINES ON THE MOON
by
Jason Sizmore

Strong manly handsome Lt. Commander Jason Sizmore knew he was in trouble. "That's one big scary alien," he thought to himself in his head. Because the alien was really big. And scary! "I sure wish I was back in the hollers making out with my cousin right now. Instead of being here on the moon with an alien! Because she is really nice. And pretty! Like a dragon who has read the Kama Sutra! And not big and scary like this alien."

The alien growled. It was scary! Then it used its magic telepathy to hurl strong manly handsome Lt. Commander Jason Sizmore against the wall of the moon base. It hurt!

And then the alien ripped open his space suit and started to eat Sizmore's intestines. They were all slippery and oozy but the alien liked them that way! Yum, yum, intestines! said the alien, in his weird alien language, which sounded like this: Alskdhj 3hq65hdj asjjzzjgj jhadh hahshg.

"Ouch!" said strong manly handsome Lt. Commander Sizmore. Then he died.

And there were no more intestines! The alien was very sad. So he invaded Earth to get more intestines.

Yum, yum!

THE END

Jason Sizemore Doesn't Really Think I'm Evil

The other day, Jason Sizemore of Apex Digest fame mentioned me in a blog entry.

It seems likely this princess of sweetness and charm [Mary Robinette Kowal] was tarnished by that evil editor lady over at Shimmer Magazine, but I won't say her name because she's likely got her name plugged into Google Alerts and Technorati.

This comment has apparently raised an eyebrow or two - and I guess if you don't know Jason or me, it's not entirely clear that he's TOTALLY KIDDING. Jason and I know each other well enough to indulge in cheerful mockery on occasion, but the truth is, we're friends, and Jason's been very supportive of Shimmer.

So relax; there will be no fistfights at the next convention where our paths cross.

(But if we DID have a fight, I would totally win.)

Shimmer Holiday Subscription Special

Hey there. Shimmer has a limited-time special offer for the holidays. Anyone who buys a subscription to Shimmer between now and the end of the year, gets a signed copy of our holiday chapbook. This year’s holiday story is Christmas Season by Jay Lake.

A subscription is only $17. Already have one? Send Shimmer to a friend for the holidays; we won’t tell them that you kept the chapbook for yourself.

Avast! It's Pirate Season!

Ahoy, landlubbers! 'Tis time to be submittin' your pirate stories to Shimmer. Cap'n John Joseph Adams is guest editing our pirate issue, and it's time to fill his chum bucket up with submissions. Check out the web site for details.

And yes, we'll continue to read non-piratical submissions; there's still some room in our Spring 2007 issue. Insider tip: I seem to be particularly fond of stories about birds these days; I don't know what's up with that, but if you have a strange and lovely bird story, please send it my way.