In the interest of fairness. . . .

Alas, it seems that Jason Sizemore over at Apex doesn't think we're quite as friendly as I did. Jason, I have nothing but the depeest respect and admiration for you and your work, and I hope that someday, you'll be able to see past our editorial differences.

He posted one of my rejection letters to him. It's only fair, I think, that I post his submission - I just want everyone to be able to make up their own minds.

Here's his cover letter:

Dear Mr. Debbie Wodnizky,

Here is my story "Intestines On The Moon!" It is way better than the crap you usually print! My mom really likes it so if you don't like it you are STUPID and I will tell everyone on the interwebs that you are MEEN.

Sincerely,
Jason Sizmore

P.S. APEX ROCKS!!!!! BUY A MUG!!!!!

And here's the story that accompanied this fine letter:

INTESTINES ON THE MOON
by
Jason Sizmore

Strong manly handsome Lt. Commander Jason Sizmore knew he was in trouble. "That's one big scary alien," he thought to himself in his head. Because the alien was really big. And scary! "I sure wish I was back in the hollers making out with my cousin right now. Instead of being here on the moon with an alien! Because she is really nice. And pretty! Like a dragon who has read the Kama Sutra! And not big and scary like this alien."

The alien growled. It was scary! Then it used its magic telepathy to hurl strong manly handsome Lt. Commander Jason Sizmore against the wall of the moon base. It hurt!

And then the alien ripped open his space suit and started to eat Sizmore's intestines. They were all slippery and oozy but the alien liked them that way! Yum, yum, intestines! said the alien, in his weird alien language, which sounded like this: Alskdhj 3hq65hdj asjjzzjgj jhadh hahshg.

"Ouch!" said strong manly handsome Lt. Commander Sizmore. Then he died.

And there were no more intestines! The alien was very sad. So he invaded Earth to get more intestines.

Yum, yum!

THE END