All I Wanted Was an Outlet. . .

This is my house. It's very cute, and very old (built in 1882).

The wiring is particularly ancient; I still have some knob and tube wiring in service, and the outlets all suck.

No problem, I thought. I'll just replace the outlets in the office, the ones where if you brush up against anything plugged into them, they come unplugged, especially the computer power cord (oops).

Anyone who owns an old house knows where this story is going.

So I started looking into outlets, and realized I needed to ground the outlets. And that lead to the realization that I'd need to replace the circuit panel. And while I was at it, it would probably just be easier to rewire the rest of the house, and put in a few more outlets in the office, and put the furnace on its own circuit, and so on. We called electricians and got bids and were prepared to spend eleventy-billion dollars on our modest home improvement project.

Then the furnace died.

This was not exactly a surprise, just as it was not a surprise that my ancient wiring needed to be replaced. The furnace is probably at least 50 years old, and hideously inefficient. It was really time for a new furnace anyway.

The asbestos on the ducts, also not a surprise. But it sure does add to the bill.

Old houses, I think, know when you have the checkbook out. Today, while the asbestos guys were in the basement doing their thing, we noticed a fairly significant leak in the plumbing. I swear it wasn't there two days ago.

Houses just know.

On the plus side, Sean's been really helpful with this whole process. He's spent a lot of time on the phone gathering bids and coordinating schedules, and he's staying home and dealing with the legion of workers. It's just very nice to have someone to help with all this stuff.

And a little thing that made me happy: I got a review copy of John Scalzi's The Last Colony in the mail today. I enjoyed The Ghost Brigades a lot, and am looking forward to reading Scalzi's latest.

It's Done!

The Great Declutter Project of 2007 is officially DONE. Tonight I cleaned out the last closet. The recycling and garbage bins are fairly full, and the car has lots of things for the thrift store.

I think the house is cleaner and less cluttered now than it was when I moved in. It feels great.

Of course, there's still more to do. I didn't include the laundry room or the basement in this project, and I wasn't particularly rigorous in deciding what to throw out, and I didn't even touch the files (do I really need bank statements from 1991? No, I do not. But that is a project for another day.) but damn, it feels really good to have things in such good order.

The next project is to finish deep cleaning the non-closet areas of the house - washing curtains and windows, scrubbing the woodwork, cleaning the floors, all that good stuff. I already did an amazing job on the kitchen, but there's plenty left to do. And then it is time for some rewiring. And after that, dozens of other projects - it never ends.

So why am I on a cleaning and home repair binge? Well, it's always good to keep your house from looking like a crazy person lives there. But the reason I'm doing it right now, of all times, is because my super-nice boyfriend Sean is moving in next week. We are so cute I could just hurl - but it's very, very good.

Further Adventures in Decluttering

Today's project was to clean out the closet in the office. No big deal, I thought; I'd done a pretty thorough job of cleaning it out about two years ago, so it shouldn't be too bad.

I was wrong.

First, I found a pile of empty notebooks. Great! I knew I'd bought some a while ago; nice to know where they were. And you always need more notebooks.

And then I found the other four different piles of notebooks, mostly slightly used. Two pages of grocery lists, etc. I diligently sorted them out, tore out the pages of ancient crap, and set them in the notebook pile. This was worse than the sugar.

So I sorted and recycled and set stuff aside for the thrift store. 2 full recycling bins, 2 bags of garbage, half a carload of crap to go to the thrift store, and I was down to the last box.

I opened it up and saw that it was full of ancient memorabilia. Stuff from when I lived in Poland in the mid-80s, stuff from high school, etc. So I settled in with some dinner and started sorting it out.

I found more damn notebooks. Empty, for the most part, the kind we used in school in Poland.
They're about the size of a copy of Shimmer (though not as pretty), usually with brown cardboard covers.

That's right. I've been carrying a stack of empty notebooks around with me since 1984.


I also found a bunch of old family pictures.



This one is of me (on the right) and my sister, probably about 1974. We're sitting outside the pig pen; when I was growing up, we raised pigs, chickens, and geese. One year we had two sheep and a calf named Sam. Unfortunately, after Sam got old enough to jump the fence, he got turned into Samburgers.






This one is of me (in the center) having a lovely time at a family reunion.

And here's one more. Love that outfit!

Sugar Sugar

Feeling a bit better today, though my stomach still feels a bit unreliable.

I spent a large portion of today cleaning out the kitchen. I mean really cleaning it - the kind of cleaning where you take everything off the shelves and throw away half of it and then scrub down the shelves and cabinet doors and wash the walls. It's a huge amount of work, and I'm tired - but there's still a lot more to do.

Once again I'm amazed at the crap I found to throw out. A big bottle of cheap cooking oil with an expiration date of 2002. Unlabeled spices in little plastic baggies from the bulk spice section at the natural foods store. Vast quantities of ancient tupperware with no lids and other deformities.


What amazed me the most, though, was the sugar. I don't use much sugar, so I was surprised to find several pounds of plain sugar, 2 containers of brown sugar, 2 of confectioner's sugar, 2 bottles of molasses (with about a teaspoon missing from each), 1 bottle of corn syrup, and 3 bottles of cheap crappy maple syrup. I threw out what I needed to, dusted and consolidated the rest, and arranged it all neatly on the sugar shelf.


Then it was time to clean out the lower cabinets. I sorted out all the pots and pans and appliances and cleaned -- and when I moved everything out, in the very back of one cabinet, in a location that's so difficult to reach that I actually had to crawl into the cabinet, I found... more sugar.


WTF?

Still more cleaning to do...



I took a few hours off to go dye eggs with my friend Keri and her kids. Mine is purple and has a unicorn and a rainbow on it.


Happy Easter, y'all.

Home sick

So I'm home from work today. I'm not feeling well, which sucks, but it'll give me a chance to do lots of napping, and get caught up on a lot of things in between naps.

All eleventy-billion copies of Shimmer have gone out to subscribers; I'm looking forward to hearing what everyone thinks about this issue.

I'm planning on doing a lot of reading today. That includes reading some stuff by my friend Sara Genge, who is everywhere these days: she's got a story up at Helix, and is a contributor to The Daily Cabal. Also in the pile is the debute issue of All Possible Worlds, which I'm very curious to read.

And of course I have a heaping pile of Shimmer work to do. I expect I'll get through a lot of it - but first, a nap.

It's Here!

At long last, the Winter issue of Shimmer is here! I'm very pleased with this issue, and I hope you'll think it's worth the wait. There's still snow on the mountains in Utah, so I tell myself it is still winter, despite the daffodils and tulips and dandelions blooming in my yard.

Our cover story is Juana and the Dancing Bear, by n. a. bourke; Sandro Castelli created a gorgeous cover to illustrate it.

Several authors we've published before appear in this issue. We've got Dario Ciriello's story Dwell on Her Graciousness, Amal El-Mohtar's Sparrow and Egg, Michael Livingston's Catch of the Day, Tom Cofferwillow Comes Undone, by Stephen L. Moss, and a Lucy cartoon from Chrissy Ellsworth. We're happy to have the opportunity to publish these authors again, and trust you'll be happy to see their names again.

Oh, but there's more: Cat Rambo's Eagle-haunted Lake Sammamish, Mike Driver's Night Milling, and Duets by Phillip J. Lees.

I keep wanting to talk about these stories, tell you how gorgeous Juana and the Dancing Bear is, how Eagle-haunted Lake Sammamish breaks my heart every time, how "dogspringles" became my new favorite expletive after reading Tom Cofferwillow Comes Undone - but I don't want to tell you about it. I want you to read it for yourself. So head on over to Shimmer and check it out.

--

I've been hideously productive today. I worked on one thing or another practically nonstop for almost twelve hours. Here's some of what I did: about half of the mailing, laundry, ran the dishwasher, decluttered and cleaned the office (do I really need three separate paper clip repositories? No, I do not.), sent long overdue replies to some important e-mail, washed a very dirty wall in the kitchen, ran some errands, and, hell, about a hundred other things that I am forgetting now. Tomorrow looks like it should be just as busy.

But now, it is time for a drink.

Getting back to normal....

It's a cold day in Salt Lake, alternating rain and snow. It would have been a great day to call in sick at work and just nap all day, but responsibility won out, and I ended up being pretty productive. I have a great mountain of Shimmer stuff to catch up on, as well - I got way behind when Sean was out here. We had a great time together, mostly just hanging out, but also took time to make pizza for friends, and go to another friend's housewarming party. It was really great, and I'm really looking forward to him moving out here.

After work tonight, I headed off to a yoga class. A year ago, I was in really great shape and yoga came easily to me. For one reason or another - travel, changes in the studio schedule, etc - my practice faded away, and now every class that I do make it to is really challenging. It's hard, remembering how strong I used to be, to have to do so many modifications to asanas. But the great thing about yoga is how it works at any level. Even when I'm taking it really easy, I can just focus on breathing and moving and at the end of class, I'm stronger and more stable.

Tonight we spent a lot of time in Ardha Chandrasana, which is really good at developing both strength and stability. And it's one of the asanas I can do reasonably well, so it was fun.

And now, for dinner: grilled chicken with spicy peanut sauce, and edamame. Yum.

The Importance of Contact Info....

The other day, I received a submission via mail (despite only accepting submissions via e-mail, we do occasionally get a paper submission).

The submission did not include a SASE for my reply. It also did not have any contact information on the cover letter or the story itself. The envelope does have a return address, but got some heaving black marks on it during the mailing process, and I can't read it.

So if you're the nice young man in Everett, WA, who recently mailed me a story, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to respond to your submission. Next time, please submit via e-mail; at least that way I can reply.

Most publications have useful information about how they'd like stories submitted: e-mail or in paper? What kind of formatting? Are multiple or simultaneous submissions allowed? Make it easier for both yourself and the editors by understanding the mechanics of submitting stories.

Any questions? Leave 'em in the comments and I'll do my best to answer.

And even more productivity!

I seem to have a great deal of energy these days, and I'm getting lots done besides decluttering. On Sunday I got so busy cleaning the kitchen that I forgot to go to yoga - but the house looks great. I also got some cooking done and some yardwork that I've been putting off since November or so. And some of my own writing, for the first time in, well, a long time.

I'm starting to get caught up on Shimmer stuff, too, which is an amazing feeling. (Speaking of which, have you bought your copy of the Autumn issue yet? Supplies are running low.)

Hell, I even did a few blog posts. Crazy productive!

Sean's arriving for a visit tomorrow, though, so I expect to be getting a lot less done for the next week. I'm really looking forward to it, though!

Spring decluttering....

For the past month or so, I've been busy going through all my stuff and getting rid of as much as I can. I'm not being very rigorous about it: if I have a faint impulse to keep something, it stays - so I'm really only purging crap I have zero interest in.

But despite these low standards, I'm getting rid of an astonishing volume of stuff. Today I took 6 garbage bags full of stuff to the thrift store - and this was at least my third trip there, with a similar volume of Stuff.

Where did all this crap come from? I thought I was pretty good about not having a lot of extraneous stuff, and about keeping what I do have under control. But no. Just bag after bag of stuff I no longer want, much of which I think I never wanted in the first place.

Feels good to get things streamlined and straightened out, though.

So what are you letting go of these days?

The Minotaur's Rabbit Just Keeps On Going

Should have called it The Minotaur's Energizer Bunny.

My story The Minotaur's Rabbit ran in Apex Digest #7. (If you haven't read it, I'm sure you can still grab a copy from the Apex site. Just so you know, this isn't a happy story about bunnies.)

I just found out that Michael Livingston used the story in his creative writing class at The Citadel. How cool is that? The students had a different perspective on the story than most of the other readers I've heard from. "Why's there a minotaur on a spaceship?" they asked, which led into a good discussion about the use of myth and symbolism in literature. I think the students interpreted it differently than I intended, but it sure sounds like it sparked a worthwhile discussion. Plus, I feel so established now. Thanks, Mike!

In other news, Jason Sizemore of Apex fame is considering a calendar featuring stories from issues 5-8, so he ran a poll to see which stories people were most interested in seeing on a calendar. The last time I checked the results, 15 people had voted for The Minotaur's Rabbit, which put it in the lead, and should be enough to secure a spot in the calendar. People sure do like their bunnies, I guess. Check it out for yourself!

The Shimmer Trailer

Hey, everyone, check out the video trailer for the Winter 2007 issue of Shimmer. It's up at our site right now: www.shimmerzine.com

It was produced and narrated by our super-awesome art director, Mary Robinette Kowal, and features music by John Scalzi.

And it's gorgeous.

If you're wondering when the Winter issue's going to be out - good news! It's at the printers, and we should be mailing it out in about 2 weeks.

Some days. . . .

Some days, you just need to shoot a screaming slingshot monkey at someone.

I'm sure you've all heard about the furor over the word scrotum recently; I won't rehash it. I'd just like to assure you all that this blog has always been, and always will be, 100% scrotum free. I'm not even going to tell you all about the day at work we realized that the phrases "Why are there scrotums?" and "Wire their scrotums" sound exactly alike. Nor will I tell you how one of my coworkers had the nickname "Scrotum" in high school. Or even.... ooops. Perhaps I have already done irreparable damage to the youth of America just by saying that much. I'd better shut up.

Ahoy! Pirate story submission window extended

Just in case you haven't heard this news elsewhere: the deadline for submissions to Shimmer's pirate issue has been extended to 2/28/07. That gives you scurvy sea-dogs and landlubbers plenty of time to polish up your stories and get 'em in.

For full info and guidelines, set sail for Shimmer.

New Year's Resolution

In the year 2007 I resolve to: Fill my house with chocolate pudding. Get your resolution here.

In the interest of fairness. . . .

Alas, it seems that Jason Sizemore over at Apex doesn't think we're quite as friendly as I did. Jason, I have nothing but the depeest respect and admiration for you and your work, and I hope that someday, you'll be able to see past our editorial differences.

He posted one of my rejection letters to him. It's only fair, I think, that I post his submission - I just want everyone to be able to make up their own minds.

Here's his cover letter:

Dear Mr. Debbie Wodnizky,

Here is my story "Intestines On The Moon!" It is way better than the crap you usually print! My mom really likes it so if you don't like it you are STUPID and I will tell everyone on the interwebs that you are MEEN.

Sincerely,
Jason Sizmore

P.S. APEX ROCKS!!!!! BUY A MUG!!!!!

And here's the story that accompanied this fine letter:

INTESTINES ON THE MOON
by
Jason Sizmore

Strong manly handsome Lt. Commander Jason Sizmore knew he was in trouble. "That's one big scary alien," he thought to himself in his head. Because the alien was really big. And scary! "I sure wish I was back in the hollers making out with my cousin right now. Instead of being here on the moon with an alien! Because she is really nice. And pretty! Like a dragon who has read the Kama Sutra! And not big and scary like this alien."

The alien growled. It was scary! Then it used its magic telepathy to hurl strong manly handsome Lt. Commander Jason Sizmore against the wall of the moon base. It hurt!

And then the alien ripped open his space suit and started to eat Sizmore's intestines. They were all slippery and oozy but the alien liked them that way! Yum, yum, intestines! said the alien, in his weird alien language, which sounded like this: Alskdhj 3hq65hdj asjjzzjgj jhadh hahshg.

"Ouch!" said strong manly handsome Lt. Commander Sizmore. Then he died.

And there were no more intestines! The alien was very sad. So he invaded Earth to get more intestines.

Yum, yum!

THE END

Jason Sizemore Doesn't Really Think I'm Evil

The other day, Jason Sizemore of Apex Digest fame mentioned me in a blog entry.

It seems likely this princess of sweetness and charm [Mary Robinette Kowal] was tarnished by that evil editor lady over at Shimmer Magazine, but I won't say her name because she's likely got her name plugged into Google Alerts and Technorati.

This comment has apparently raised an eyebrow or two - and I guess if you don't know Jason or me, it's not entirely clear that he's TOTALLY KIDDING. Jason and I know each other well enough to indulge in cheerful mockery on occasion, but the truth is, we're friends, and Jason's been very supportive of Shimmer.

So relax; there will be no fistfights at the next convention where our paths cross.

(But if we DID have a fight, I would totally win.)

Shimmer Holiday Subscription Special

Hey there. Shimmer has a limited-time special offer for the holidays. Anyone who buys a subscription to Shimmer between now and the end of the year, gets a signed copy of our holiday chapbook. This year’s holiday story is Christmas Season by Jay Lake.

A subscription is only $17. Already have one? Send Shimmer to a friend for the holidays; we won’t tell them that you kept the chapbook for yourself.

Avast! It's Pirate Season!

Ahoy, landlubbers! 'Tis time to be submittin' your pirate stories to Shimmer. Cap'n John Joseph Adams is guest editing our pirate issue, and it's time to fill his chum bucket up with submissions. Check out the web site for details.

And yes, we'll continue to read non-piratical submissions; there's still some room in our Spring 2007 issue. Insider tip: I seem to be particularly fond of stories about birds these days; I don't know what's up with that, but if you have a strange and lovely bird story, please send it my way.

Shimmer Autumn 2006 Reviews!

Our Autumn issue got two great reviews this week. Woo-hoo!

Danny Adams at Tangent has nice things to say about every story.

Sam Tomaino at SFRevu liked it, too:

It was a totally enjoyable experience and all the stories got a Very Good from me.... Shimmer is one of the best small press magazines out there and you should all be subscribing to it!

I couldn't agree more. Why not head over to www.shimmerzine.com and grab a copy?